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Willpower, by Merriam-Webster’s definition, is the ability to control oneself, a strong determination that allows you to do something difficult.

It’s a word I hear tossed about often, dripping with saccharine sweetness, like the dark chocolate or scrumptious Twin Bing bars I know I should avoid.

“I’d like to stop ...,” fill in the blank with whatever vice ails you ... “but I just don’t have the willpower.”

I get it. I really do. I’d like to reduce my craving for sweets, quit wasting time watching TikTok, stop being neurotic, give up wine ... It’s. Just. So. Hard.

Or is it?

Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, in Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, reported “people spend at least a fifth of their waking hours resisting desires.”

Basically, putting willpower to the test is tough, especially if I spend 3.6 hours per day resisting some temptation. Today, so far, so good. I’ve been in the office for six hours and have resisted the piece of sea salt/caramel/dark chocolate tucked in my desk drawer ... as well as the urge to scream at InDesign every time it decides to freeze on deadline day.

Willpower has been front and center since, well, when Eve took a bite of the apple. Augustine of Hippo presented free will to connect sin and God.

By the Middle Ages, the idea of willpower dipped and experienced a resurrection by the Victorian Age, when prim and proper beliefs made a resurgence and became an obsession for many.

That roller coaster pattern of willpower has continued through the years, but is willpower the end all, be all of self-control?

In “Against Willpower,” by Carl Erik Fisher, the author suggests the notion of willpower - and all the self-help craze associated with it - may actually work against you.

He claims willpower is a lose-lose scenario. Many see willpower as a form of muscle, strength beyond measure. When we can’t control our impulses, we rationalize our behavior as a lack of willpower.

Instead of zeroing in on a single issue - the urge to consume chocolate, for example - and shifting focus to the big picture, the struggle for self-control lessens, the craving fades.

We face stressors head-on and discover ways to manage it. We consider expectations we place on ourselves (and maybe even on others) and, to be honest, we learn how to deal with it.

That, in itself, is a powerful lesson.