The Summerland Advocate-Messenger - Reliable, Trustworthy Reporting, Capturing The Heartbeat Of Our Community

I do not consider myself a conservative and I do not consider myself a liberal - I do not identify as either. I see myself as a person for humanity who believes in doing what is right and finding the good in people.

I believe people have different views, perspectives and ideas that make them unique. None of these ideas are right or wrong. People come from different backgrounds and that needs to be celebrated and embraced. It may be difficult to understand, but learn about them, ask questions, research. Do not make assumptions.

I have thought long and hard about how I would write this column or if I even should. Honestly, I still do not know exactly how I want to write this, but I am going to give it a shot because people need to take chances and stand for what is right. If I fail, so be it; humility is the best teacher.

When I received the news notification on my phone about the death of George Floyd, I read it, thought it was awful and mindlessly swiped left to dismiss the notification. I did not devote any more thought to the headline.

I did not expect it to become ignition for a national movement.

As I scrolled through Facebook that night, I began to see posts about police brutality and the mistreatment of black lives in America. I expected this, but there were a couple of posts that caught my attention, altered my thought process.

I happened to be talking with one of my friends, who is black, and the situation at hand surfaced. She told me first-hand stories about racism that I could have only read in books and watched in movies.

My friend is biracial. Her mom is white and her dad is black. When her parents began dating, they would walk together and passersby would shout obscenities and claim that God hated them. The majority of these obscenities were racial slurs directed toward the male, or more so, the color of his skin; this was only 25 years ago.

Fast forward to 2020, a large portion of this scenario is still a reality. My friend says she cannot go out with her mom without being treated like she does not belong. She sits at a table with her aunts in public and people stair as if she is a misfit. There is a constant worry about her dad and brother driving at night - more than the usual worry of traffic and accidents.

However, none of this is new or surprising to her. When she was five years old, a classmate told her she would never get married because she was black.

You are not born racist, you are taught.

Students were not the only problem in the school system. In an attempt to provide her with the best opportunities, her parents sent her to private grade school. Immediately, teachers informed her parents that she needed to be pulled out because school was too hard. If she stayed in school, she would never graduate eighth grade. However, she finished her eighth-grade year with a 3.9 grade point average.

The microaggressions did not end in grade school. Still, individuals made comments such as, “You don’t sound black” or “You are the whitest black person I have ever met.”

Being one of the few black students in her class, she was constantly asked questions, especially in History class. “What is your take on this?” “How did this affect your people?”

I cannot say that I have ever experienced any of these situations, and few of us in a rural community can say we have. Not worrying or thinking about those situations listed above, that is called privilege.

After telling me those stories, these were the words she said, “You can try, and want, to understand as much as you would like, and that is great. However, you can never truly understand unless you are black.”

As unsettling as this sentence is, it is so true.

As much as we hate to admit it, we have an invisible caste system in America and it can be detrimental.

I will be the first to say that I do not approve of the way George Floyd died.

It was an awful, painful and excruciating death that no one deserves to suffer. Human life is a life, period.

However, it amazes me when I hear people make excuses about him being a criminal or even a “low life.”

Even if this is true, he did not deserve to die.

Yes, he may have made some poor choices in life, but that should not give anyone the right to take away his life.

On the other spectrum, I do not agree with the riots taking place. People's voices need to be heard, and there has been a long history of oppression and silence experienced by the black community that has been bottled up over the years.

All of a sudden, that bottle exploded with rage and there was fuel to feed the fire.

However, that does not give people the right to destroy property and personal belongings of others.

It is a two-way street; no one’s choices should infringe on another's rights.

When we look past the riots, we have seen some amazing things when looking at the peaceful protests.

Police officers, National Guard and other men and women kneeling in solitude with those fighting their battle. This is the America I believe in.

Everyone has a voice, and it deserves to be heard. No, this country is not perfect, and there is a lot to be fixed. However, I have always believed that being willing to sit, listen and learn about someone’s beliefs and stories will teach more than any textbook.

Steven Covey had the right idea when he said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

I think it is time we all take a little time to be quiet, sit down and listen. Learn what other people have to say and understand their frustrations.

Everyone has a voice. Let it be heard.